Introduction
In this second post about music, Leslie shares how her musical journey through Amrita Virtual Academy with the ganjira led her to start to learn how to play the kaimani*, the challenges she faced and ways she could overcome them .
* (handbells – kai means hand and mani bell in Malayalam).
The Rhythm of the Mind
In my first blog, I shared my journey with the ganjira. Let me now share with you how the ganjira led me to learn kaimani, about the challenges I faced while practicing and playing with others, and the wonderful ways I was shown to overcome those challenges.
During a silent retreat in Hawaii, despite being a beginner, I was blessed to play the ganjira during bhajans. While I was playing though, the singer sitting next to me gave me a thumbs up and then indicated that I should play softer, and then softer, and even softer until I was effectively muted!
So, following his guidance, I continued to play the ganjira very quietly, while still enjoying the amazing energy that is created when one is inside the music with a group of musicians. I felt like I was blessed to be allowed to experience a world in which I felt I didn’t actually belong.
The next day, it just so happened that I met Lalitha, who was also at the retreat. She offered to show me a few simple beats to play for each of the bhajans scheduled for that night. I could not imagine how I was going to remember everything. But when it came time, I somehow remembered all she had shown me!
The kaimani player and I connected during this set, and while making eye contact, he mouthed the beats and rhythms for me to follow.
Then, the same person who had asked me to play quietly the previous night – started asking me to play louder and louder!
So the next night, I tried once again to play the ganjira. If I didn’t know how to play properly, I flipped it over in my lap and tapped in rhythm along with the kaimani player. That is when I realized that if I wanted to hear the music better I needed to also learn kaimani.
I soon began taking kaimani lessons through Amrita Virtual Academy. When I signed up, I was so surprised and encouraged to see that Lalitha was actually one of the teachers!
…by continuing to show up, and by practicing my instruments, I trust that I am doing what I can to become fit for the path...
My son’s old room has become my puja/music room where I practice. But just like my sadhana, I often don’t feel like practicing my instruments when it is time.
Every morning, when I ask myself to stay focused while chanting archana, I find my mind wandering. It is the same with my music practice. I can intellectually understand what I need to do, and set an intention, but there is always the mind creating a distraction. I find that the same qualities of shradha (faith and loving awareness) and laksha bodham (intent on the Goal)that are needed for the path are needed for learning these instruments.
Just as when I learn about the teachings of Vedanta, I can intellectually understand them, but I find it difficult to put them into practice in my life. I find myself challenged to move from a concept, an understanding of the rhythms I want to play, to an experience of actually being able to play them. This requires repeated effort and grace. In this, and other ways, these instruments become my teachers.
To be honest, when I sit along with the musicians during bhajans, I’m not actually that comfortable. If I listen to my mind telling me that I am an old western woman with no musical talent, I won’t be able to do anything.
…by practicing, and holding a vision of letting a pure divine expression shine through, I keep going. I am always glad I did afterwards. I just let the discipline lead. One day, maybe I will be clear enough to have the kind of one pointed focus that allows the Divine to shine through in a pure form…
But, still, I just keep showing up, not caring so much about what I think and feel. And by practicing, and holding a vision of letting a pure divine expression shine through, I keep going. I am always glad I did afterwards. I just let the discipline lead. I trust that I am doing what I can to become fit for the path.
Amma says we are not kittens—we are lions. We are not candles that need to be lit by the world—we are the self effulgent sun. Why should I care what my mind says? I should be willing to sometimes not shine, but still be able to offer whatever I can to Amma. After all, she will not waste half a grain of rice; She will find a way to do something good with me.
One day, maybe I will be clear enough to have the kind of one pointed focus that allows the Divine to shine through in a pure form.
For now, regardless of what my mind thinks, I just keep showing up. It’s time to practice.
Thanks to Leslie for sharing her inspiring experience with Amrita Virtual Academy. We encourage you to try out the Kaimani Course with Anu Chechi and Lalitha, here.
Amrita Virtual Academy offers a wide range of musical classes, from singing to learning different instruments. See more here.
As a Amrita Virtual Academy member you have access to more than 60 different courses in different fields. Discover more about the AVA Membership here, and join.
